The Only Thing Wrong With Jesus
Only thing wrong with Jesus,
Jesus wasn't very much fun.
After turning water into wine
You’d think he’d be a son-of-a-gun!
He had a great compassion,
But humor he had none;
He had parables by the barrelful
But he never made a decent pun.
The only thing wrong with Jesus,
He never made anyone laugh.
He could multiply loaves and fishes
And feed us with a wave of his staff.
He could even walk on water
Or melt a golden calf,
But he never got everyone going
By acting slightly daft.
The reason I don’t like Jesus
Is he didn’t know any good jokes.
He never even cracked a smile when
He was rising up dead folks!
He never even cracked some eggs
And said these are the yolks!
And when he sat on the burning bush
He didn’t say “Holy Smokes!”
The only thing wrong with Jesus
Was he didn’t do any Shtick.
Being so good and righteous,
He never said anything sick.
We'd have known he didn’t mean it
And he wasn’t just being a dick
If he winked an eye and acted shy,
In case it just didn’t click.
So I never took to Jesus
And made a great big fuss
About going to the Holy Land,
In an air conditioned bus,
Or keeping straight the Sabbath,
Bein’ careful not to cuss,
Cause if Jesus wasn’t funny,
He wasn’t really one of us.
Only thing wrong with Jesus,
Jesus wasn't very much fun.
After turning water into wine
You’d think he’d be a son-of-a-gun!
He had a great compassion,
But humor he had none;
He had parables by the barrelful
But he never made a decent pun.
The only thing wrong with Jesus,
He never made anyone laugh.
He could multiply loaves and fishes
And feed us with a wave of his staff.
He could even walk on water
Or melt a golden calf,
But he never got everyone going
By acting slightly daft.
The reason I don’t like Jesus
Is he didn’t know any good jokes.
He never even cracked a smile when
He was rising up dead folks!
He never even cracked some eggs
And said these are the yolks!
And when he sat on the burning bush
He didn’t say “Holy Smokes!”
The only thing wrong with Jesus
Was he didn’t do any Shtick.
Being so good and righteous,
He never said anything sick.
We'd have known he didn’t mean it
And he wasn’t just being a dick
If he winked an eye and acted shy,
In case it just didn’t click.
So I never took to Jesus
And made a great big fuss
About going to the Holy Land,
In an air conditioned bus,
Or keeping straight the Sabbath,
Bein’ careful not to cuss,
Cause if Jesus wasn’t funny,
He wasn’t really one of us.