My last sex thread for a million years
I realize I’ve done a lot of threads with the word penis in them lately, (seven, counting this one, in two days) so this will be my last for the next million years, for reasons that will soon be clear. OK, so scientists have recently discovered that the earth itself is a single, living organic being, and we are just some sort of scum which is good for its skin. According to these scientists, every million years or so, the earth must put forth its sex organs and procreate a new species without regard for what it might mean to us. Those million years are about up, Therefore, the earth will soon thrust a gigantic penis from underneath its crust, and France will be ripped in half. Further, since it turns out that the earth is hermaphroditic, a huge fissure will appear across Europa, surrounded by a tangled mass of pubic vegetation that really would look better trimmed. Most of Russia will fall in. Then, Europe will be literally f****d, as the towering phallus strains to come across the beckoning Urals. After this event, a sticky white lake will lie across the belly of Europe, and that spot will grow surprisingly cold. In order to get any sleep, most Germans will migrate to the eastern and western edges of their country, perhaps even invading Alsace-Lorraine or Poland. At the very least, they will need a corridor to the sea and some new living room furniture. Anyway, it will take about 10,000 years for whatever new species to develop, so we will have a little time to play around with the idea and adjust to it, but it’s probably too late to nuke the genitals or anything like that, at least according to scientists.
I realize I’ve done a lot of threads with the word penis in them lately, (seven, counting this one, in two days) so this will be my last for the next million years, for reasons that will soon be clear. OK, so scientists have recently discovered that the earth itself is a single, living organic being, and we are just some sort of scum which is good for its skin. According to these scientists, every million years or so, the earth must put forth its sex organs and procreate a new species without regard for what it might mean to us. Those million years are about up, Therefore, the earth will soon thrust a gigantic penis from underneath its crust, and France will be ripped in half. Further, since it turns out that the earth is hermaphroditic, a huge fissure will appear across Europa, surrounded by a tangled mass of pubic vegetation that really would look better trimmed. Most of Russia will fall in. Then, Europe will be literally f****d, as the towering phallus strains to come across the beckoning Urals. After this event, a sticky white lake will lie across the belly of Europe, and that spot will grow surprisingly cold. In order to get any sleep, most Germans will migrate to the eastern and western edges of their country, perhaps even invading Alsace-Lorraine or Poland. At the very least, they will need a corridor to the sea and some new living room furniture. Anyway, it will take about 10,000 years for whatever new species to develop, so we will have a little time to play around with the idea and adjust to it, but it’s probably too late to nuke the genitals or anything like that, at least according to scientists.
